I made no announcement about participating in NaNoWriMo mostly because those early weeks required every spare moment to be spent participating just to keep up. More recently, if I was going to write, then it felt like I must write my story and not waste time and words writing about writing my story. You get the point.
But, here I am 22 days in and behind. Shocked? I didn’t think so. What surprised me more was for how long I not only kept up my word count but also got slightly ahead. Then the dreaded winter cold hit. Frankly, I can be a baby about colds and used it as too much of an excuse. I could have jumped back in sooner which would have made a big difference for other days when things were too booked up to write. This week tiredness has gotten the best of me. Excuses are lame, I know. I tried to tell myself this while I was peeling my eyelids open for the fifteenth time around 9 pm last night. It made no difference.
There are eight days left to the month. I still need about 22,000 words. Being not only a slow writer, but a slow writer with a slew of wonderful holiday events and family moments to soak up this long weekend, this leaves me somewhere between despair and resignation to failure. Now seemed like the appropriate time to post about participating because then (assuming anyone reads this) I would have to publicly announce failure instead of quietly writing it off. (See what I did there?)
I have a huge goal. It involves finishing this manuscript, that is nowhere near fully outlined let alone drafted, on a timeline. Maybe sometime I will explain just how huge and personal of a goal that is. NaNoWriMo is supposed to give me a big boost toward succeeding in that. Even without that goal, I still like to win. I won three years ago and it was simply one of the best feelings of accomplishment I’ve ever had. So, here’s to some external motivation when your intrinsic motivation is temporarily discouraged and taking a nap. Happy writing!